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Artist: Coldplay
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Dreamed of para-para-paradise, every time she closed her eyes
Today was a good day.
I expected to wake up pretty late because I’ve had so little sleep this week and today was my chance to sleep in, but I ended up waking up around the same time as usual :c But that’s okay, because I got a lot done.
My mom and I ate breakfast, then took the bus to QCM. It took such a long time to come, and while we were waiting, we found 4 perfect four leaf clovers, 2 slightly messed up ones because bugs nommed on them, and I found loads of “budding” four leafed clovers that weren’t fully developed. One day, I just want to go on a walk with a notebook and pick a bunch of four leafed clovers and squish them and preserve them.
I found a nice clutch and earrings for prom. The earrings are a nice midnight blue that matches my dress, and dangly, and the clutch is silver and has rhinestones. I also bought a spiky/studded bracelet and it’s so great; I’ve always wanted one, and it was so cheap too. Got a dress and top at H&M because I love H&M and a loose fitting V-neck at F21. Then we went to look at some comforters and sheets for me to take to college, but we’re waiting for the summer sale, sneaky sneaky. While we were shopping, we snacked on some dark chocolate with pomegranate pieces. Yumm.
I wish I could be a nicer person though. I keep finding things wrong with everyone in the world and it’s horrible and I feel so critical and judgmental and I hate critical and judgmental people, especially because one of my friends are like that, and it’s so exhausting to talk to him because he’s scathingly sarcastic with everything and it’s very mean. I don’t want to be mean…but it just happens.
I had a dream that my math teacher was disappointed because I didn’t do my homework so i should do that. And the Spanish project. I hate Spanish. I’m going to take Italian in college and study abroad in Italy and eat spaghetti and pizza and delicious Italian food and meet beautiful people and see beautiful things. Right after these next few days of hell :c
you don't need to feel worthless. you need to feel like the beautiful person you are. and it's ok to feel beautiful this society teaches us not too and if we do we're being cocky. but you have a right to your own confidence. show off that beautiful smile, because it's the reason someone is still here today. don't cut your skin, it's no paper. it's beauiful skin that hides the pain inside. don't bring that outside and remind yourself of the pain. forget about it, smile. be positive. ♥
This is so sweet. I really do have to learn to let the feeling pass and not act on impulse. But I haven’t cut, and I’ll try my best not to. Thank you so much.
I see so many recovery blogs focusing so much on “Gotta meet my calorie goal to gain!” “Gotta do some yoga so I gain muscle, not fat!” “Gotta still be healthy!” “Gotta take measurements!” “Gotta weigh myself and see if I gained!”
That’s not recovery.
That’s obsessing over your body in a new way….
